She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
