three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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