I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
