Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Nicole vs. Life
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
How naked do you want me to be?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
