I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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