i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
