I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
