On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
