so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
