How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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