i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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