i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
