We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
