Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
