I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
