I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
