arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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