It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
