Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
you never un-have a 4some
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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