I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
