I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
