I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
