Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
They took my balls.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
