She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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