I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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