So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
