Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
