Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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