im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
only you would photoshop your dick
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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