Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
