moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
