isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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