Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he fucked my hip out of place.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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