She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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