Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize