I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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