You smell like stripper and shame
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
