Sry I called you an 8
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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