This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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