im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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