Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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