This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
