Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My ass is underappreciated
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
