Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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