so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
