Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
