You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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