my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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