I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We left the knife in your bed.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
