my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
