my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
