Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
