He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
