I seem to have left my pride at pride
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
