that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize