That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
