The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
