I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
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