My pussy is not your playground.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My feet surprised me
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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