good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize