i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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