For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Who died my cat blue again?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
