SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
