I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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