Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
